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[原创] 英诗汉译:两情若是

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fanghuzhai
(@fanghuzhai)
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[url] http://www.bartleby.com/101/197.html [/url]



   
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忍忍
(@忍忍)
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方老师,if you write normally, line by line, it makes it easy to copy and paste.

ABSENCE, hear thou my protestation
Against thy strength,
Distance and length:
Do what thou canst for alteration,
For hearts of truest mettle
Absence doth join and Time doth settle.

“聚” is too strong a word。

absence是个抽象名词,因此 join 这里强调心情,较为抽象。

想起这句:“两情若是久长时 又岂在朝朝暮暮”

mettle :character, spirit

因此:

分离,听一听我的宣言
虽然你不乏力量
距离和久远
你也可以肆无忌惮
若是真心真性情
分离不隔阂,久别无故变

大约是这个意思吧,没时间细想。抽空回一贴。:wink:

刚才又把这个帖子改了一下。我的翻译比较现代,也许方老师用文言表达古诗更贴切。



   
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fanghuzhai
(@fanghuzhai)
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我在用照片。



   
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(@海外逸士)
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第一節﹐首三句譯文﹐看了不知所云。忍忍的翻譯是對的。


天生我材竟何用﹖


   
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忍忍
(@忍忍)
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Posts: 729
 

谢遗士夸奖。再试一次:

分离,听一听我的宣言
你的力量使人感到沉重
时间绵长,距离遥远
你也可以肆无忌惮
若是真心真性情
分离不隔阂,久别无故变



   
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fanghuzhai
(@fanghuzhai)
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古诗译英文,是借诗写诗,削足适履



   
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(@海外逸士)
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用古詩形式翻譯﹐也要確切。確切是首要的﹐否則讀者會認為譯者不能正確理解原文。
這就冤了。所以譯者別使自己因為翻譯不確切而蒙冤。

忍忍女士﹐
你這次的翻譯有問題了。
“時間綿長,距离遙遠”與上句在語義是沒有了聯係。而前次的﹕
“雖然你不乏力量
距离和久遠”
兩句之間在語義上是貫穿下來的。


天生我材竟何用﹖


   
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