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[原创]细水长流

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weili
(@weili)
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Joined: 20 years ago
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细水长流

太空飘渺
你沉降山颠,凝聚
合拢成一珠水滴
晶莹剔透,太阳火辣辣地
望着你

呼唤,地心的声音
岩浆奔腾汹涌,抖动着
水帘、清溪、瀑布
彩虹

你闭目,然后合掌
江河向东
始于你

为力 2008-04-01


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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(@月满西楼)
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Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 848
 

细水长流,应该是人生的一种境界,能悟到,便风清云淡。



   
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 xw
(@xw)
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一泓清泉,总是喜人的。而长江大河,就很难说了。比如说,洪灾
污染之类的东西。

作为一个简单的人,平淡从容方是通泉了。



   
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weili
(@weili)
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喜见西楼妹妹。:smile:

Originally posted by [i]月满西楼[/i] at 2008-4-2 12:18 AM:
细水长流,应该是人生的一种境界,能悟到,便风清云淡。


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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weili
(@weili)
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本来想提“循环”,以后再说,先直着走吧。:wink:

Originally posted by [i]xw[/i] at 2008-4-2 09:13 AM:
一泓清泉,总是喜人的。而长江大河,就很难说了。比如说,洪灾
污染之类的东西。

作为一个简单的人,平淡从容方是通泉了。


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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cleosong
(@cleosong)
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Posts: 234
 

大家注意了,这是为力愚人节写的。:)



   
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冰花
(@冰花)
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乐见你又写诗了!


沉默是金
http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/binghuablog


   
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weili
(@weili)
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可丽,我可不敢淘气了,试图假装深沉。:(

Originally posted by [i]cleosong[/i] at 2008-4-2 06:42 PM:
大家注意了,这是为力愚人节写的。:)


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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weili
(@weili)
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自从做了大诗人的徒弟,我想写诗就喷出一首,一直在努力克制。:lol:

逗你啊妹妹!

Originally posted by [i]冰花[/i] at 2008-4-2 08:22 PM:
乐见你又写诗了!


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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(@月满西楼)
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Joined: 18 years ago
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是在开玩笑吗?



   
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weili
(@weili)
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真的没有,骗你是小狗。:))

那天和象罔(xw)谈到办网站要细水长流,这首诗就出来了,其实诗和网站无关。

Originally posted by [i]月满西楼[/i] at 2008-4-2 09:48 PM:
是在开玩笑吗?


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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(@月满西楼)
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Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 848
 

Originally posted by [i]weili[/i] at 2008-4-5 01:09 AM:
真的没有,骗你是小狗。:))

那天和象罔(xw)谈到办网站要细水长流,这首诗就出来了,其实诗和网站无关。


这首诗写得很画面感,很别致。



   
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(@zhaoyang)
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XW 评得好。

为例这首诗歌,小说家言啊



   
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weili
(@weili)
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Topic starter  

大诗人面前,我就妄称自己小说家,反正咱俩都不客气。:lol:

请老师具体指点一下,怎么改进,才写得更象样?

Originally posted by [i]zhaoyang[/i] at 2008-4-4 10:16 PM:
XW 评得好。

为例这首诗歌,小说家言啊


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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(@zhaoyang)
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Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 858
 

最后一段,是可以的。你写的无非就是雾落水滴成流,然后加上那么多花架子,什么地心什么的。写诗如坐禅,禅意可得,不可道说



   
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