使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
努力了几十年都还是没弄懂基本文法, 一点诗才都没有,没人欣赏, 基本就是这样了,再怎样贬损别人还是提高不了自己的身价,出不了名, 到头还是白忙活。 再撒几百个网站也没有用.
海老人如果不能像别人喝咖啡时间作的诗也能上导读,获好评的话,抄抄写写当作脑部活动,算是防止老人痴呆。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
Originally posted by [i]Xiaoman[/i] at 2016-8-1 09:46:
[url] http://bbs.translators.com.cn/forum/cat71/75304- [/url]转帖:-美国路教授对海外逸士to-spring答复的回复?start=10
逸士,
Why do you sneak a comma between "oh" and "you"? You didn't give this comma before I pointed out your mistake. Also, you sacrificed your meaning for the boring metronomic iambic sound effect.
路
yes he is a cunny old fox. But he told me he is a dog. Shame on him! he accepted your advice and changed it sneakily.
就是说他偷偷改了就是不肯当面认错。 就如他偷偷写求饶信给我又不肯当面认错。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
学习了路老师对海外 14 行“诗” 的修改,指正。我补充一下:
他的中文原意在这里:[url] http://www.yidian.org/articlelist.php?tid=12367&starttime=0&endtime=0 [/url]
哦﹐你﹐可愛的春天﹐降落於天使的翅膀﹐
驅趕那醜惡的冬天全力逃奔﹔
你喚醒大地去歡笑﹐喚醒雲雀去歌唱﹐
使天空如此明亮﹐年青的心如此歡騰。
你輕柔溫和的氣息吹開了每一朵花﹐
當園子裡的蜜蜂輕哼著搖籃曲。
山峪已被剝去了白雪的大褂﹐
河川已從冰凍的桎梏下解救。
願所有的季節都是春天----全年的驕傲﹐
萬物都會在榮光中閃耀。
願人們永遠生活在青春的歲月中﹐
但是夢﹐不管如何甜蜜﹐總是一個夢。
如果人們因你來而快樂﹐去而哀愁﹐
但願你要麼永不來﹐要麼永不走﹗
總算譯出來的。並且押韻。
海外逸士的原诗:
Oh you, sweet Spring, alight from cherub's wing,
And put the ugly winter full to flight;
And rouse the Earth to smile, and larks to sing,
With skies so bright and hearts of youth so light.
Your gentle and genial breaths each blossom blow
While bees in gardens hum the lullabies.
The hills and dales are stripp'd of mantles of snow,
And streams and rivers freed from irons of ice.
May seasons all be Spring--the pride of years,
That all the things would e'er in glories gleam!
May men be ever in the prime of years!
But dream, however sweet, is but a dream.
If happy when you come and sad when gone,
Would that you'd never come or never gone!
(1)
海外原句:The hills and dales are stripp'd of mantles of snow,
小曼指正:Stripped off 不是 Of
(2)
海外原句:And streams and rivers freed from irons of ice.
河川已從冰凍的桎梏下解救。
小曼评:英语太烂。Irons 是熨斗, 中文他翻译成桎梏,桎梏英语是 Shackles 不是熨斗。
(3) May seasons all be Spring--the pride of years,
願所有的季節都是春天----全年的驕傲﹐
我评: 他英语太烂,这个Years字,多年的意思 ,我们说years and years 指很多年很多年。
他中文意思是 “全年” 不是 “全部的年” 应该是...of the year
(4)
海外原句:But dream, however sweet, is but a dream.
但是夢﹐不管如何甜蜜﹐總是一個夢。
小曼改:But a dream is, however sweet, still a dream.
他少了一个A 加Still
(他应该是先写了中文的再逐句用机器翻译的,但因为Handle不了,搞混了,所以他自己也不知道自己在说啥了 )
不多说了,
西人诗人说的没错,他应该先用母语写好再练习英语。
还蛮得意, 说什么 “總算譯出來的” 。 也难怪,他不知道自己写得多烂。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
All good! Enough is enough,live and let live, to err is human, to forgive is divine.
Originally posted by [i]Xiaoman[/i] at 2016-8-2 05:28 AM:
yes he is a cunny old fox. But he told me he is a dog. Shame on him! he accepted your advice and changed it sneakily.就是说他偷偷改了就是不肯当面认错。 就如他偷偷写求饶信给我又不肯当面认错。
"cunny" ? Canadian slang? or cunning? :)))
This cunning turtle never admits mistakes it makes
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
Originally posted by [i]海外逸士[/i] at 2016-7-27 18:55:
Michelle Obama,"Our motto is, when they go low, we go high."
you wanted to go low, I just helped you go lower.
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
Originally posted by [i]海外逸士[/i] at 2016-7-27 07:36:again, i am busy . You'd better stop sending me creepy emails, any private message. Don't even think about it! No more! or i will give you more colors to see see. Shame on you!
That's it for now!
Don't bump this thread, no more. 路老师可以bump the thread.
我猜那啥看不懂英语,麻烦路老师翻译一下。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
Originally posted by [i]路[/i] at 2016-8-2 00:08:逸士,
Why do you sneak a comma between "oh" and "you"? You didn't give this comma before I pointed out your mistake. Also, you sacrificed your meaning for the boring metronomic iambic sound effect.
路
逸士,
I knew you wouldn't have the guts to reply in English!
路
就是嫉妒你们写得好,译得好,而且是大帅哥, 而且你们有很多粉丝.
他没有,什么都没有。妒火中烧,可以理解。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
Originally posted by [i]海外逸士[/i] at 2016-8-1 07:51:
老要飯的說,姑奶奶也退休了吧,還是失業了,居然有這麼多時間,寫這麼長的話,來攻擊老要飯的。榮幸呀。
我现在在度假啊,平时看书,写诗,学习大翻译家徐英才的译文。就是没空教你英语。
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
还有就是看廖康博士的书。 现在在看奥运会。哈哈哈!:)
使君才气卷波澜。与把好诗再译
你老是貶低我水平,還拿別的網上說我不好的話搬過來。怎麼不搬些說我好的話過來? 不是沒有。但你老是吹噓自己水平高,在哪裡有多少點擊率。我從來沒吹噓過我在譯文網站上有十多萬點擊率,在另一網站上有廿多萬點擊率。
你說自己水平高,你敢說你的水平比你一直提到的一位教授、一位博士更高嗎?要
你回答,你肯定不敢回答。你的水平當然比他們兩位差。在本壇上應該還有我與他們兩位答辯的帖子存在。這裡的廣大網友已經看到他們兩位英文方面的不足。只是不不想卷入我們的是非中,所以不發表意見。我一直好心奉勸你們,就是說得我水平比海平面還低一萬公尺,對你們自己提高水平有幫助嗎? 你們經常把我的東西翻上來亂批一通,如果能從學術角度討論,從我的答辯學會些東西,到還值得。否則你們在浪費你們自己的寶貴時間。於事無補。
天生我材竟何用﹖