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[原创] 別以為我不會寫新詩

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(@海外逸士)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 3843
Topic starter  

給你看首抒情詩﹕

海天頌

蔚藍的大海﹐
蔚藍的天空﹐
穿著同色的衣衫﹐
是一對孿生的弟兄。

無邊的大海﹐
遼闊的天空﹐
在遙遠的地平線上﹐
他們相親而相擁。

是天上的星星
掉進了海中﹔
還是海裡的鑽石
躍上了天空﹖

在絢麗的碧空﹐
有白雲在飄動﹔
在湛藍的海底﹐
有白雲在潛泳。

我要乘上白雲﹐
遨遊天際﹐
凌風蹈虛﹐
與雄鷹一比高低。

我要躺在大海的懷裡﹐
與碧波一起蕩漾﹐
像搖籃裡的天真嬰兒﹐
享受這寧靜的瞬間。


天生我材竟何用﹖


   
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(@xzhao2)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6831
 

別以為我不會寫新詩 - Who?!


是非是我非我


   
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(@xzhao2)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6831
 

在湛藍的海底﹐
有白雲在潛泳。

- Hao!


是非是我非我


   
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文取心
(@文取心)
Noble Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 928
 

为返老还童鼓掌,只是海外君心急了一点,煞不住车,一头撞进儿歌去了。


V。F。


   
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(@xzhao2)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6831
 

同色?! - for 海天, they must be "sister colors", couldn't be same.

Please notice it's different with Mr. WANG BO's "QIU SHUI GONG CHANG TIAN YI SE".


是非是我非我


   
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三川
(@三川)
Famed Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2458
 

这题目吸引人。如用简体字,就更是新诗了。


[url]http://blog.sina.com.cn/tugan[/url]


   
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tukeli
(@tukeli)
Estimable Member Guest
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 117
 

比老伯所有的“古诗”都写得好,但后三段是蛇足。


[size=4]土颗粒[/size]


   
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weili
(@weili)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 15337
 

“但后三段是蛇足。”

同意。


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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weili
(@weili)
Illustrious Member Guest
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 15337
 

把新诗写得象“古的”那样隽永,是可以做到的。


因为无能为力,所以尽力而为。


   
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thesunlover
(@thesunlover)
Member Admin
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 16382
 

[color=Blue]铁树开新花,稚嫩亦足夸;
诗成君莫笑,秃笔画天涯。[/color]:lol::lol:


因为我和黑夜结下了不解之缘 所以我爱太阳


   
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(@月满西楼)
Prominent Member Guest
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 848
 

哎呀,都是繁体字,看着真费劲!写得挺好。



   
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